open vs. closed tennessee adoption: which is right for you?
In Tennessee, there are various degrees of contact that adoptees and adoptive parents can have with birth parents after an adoption is finalized. While the actual degree of contact is more of a spectrum than specific levels, we can generally describe post-adoption contact in three different ways:
Open;
Semi-Open; and,
Closed.
While open adoptions can be scary, especially for adoptive parents, research has shown that children do better in an open adoption because it allows them to better understand how they came to be adopted. Further, a closed adoption may have the unfair stigma of secrecy attached to it, which can lead to feelings of shame. Note that not all closed adoptions have negative feelings, but it is a risk.
The bottom line is that the openness of an adoption is ultimately your choice, and you should carefully consider what kind of relationship you want your child to have with his or her birth parents and how much involvement you are comfortable with.
What Is an Open Adoption?
An open adoption is a type of adoption in which the birth parents and the adoptive parents have some level of contact with each other. This can range from fully open, where the two families have a close relationship and stay in touch often, to exchanges of information once or twice per year.
In the past, closed adoptions were far more common because adoptive parents tended to keep a child's adoption secret from their children and others outside of the family. However, now open adoptions are generally thought to be better for the adopted child, as they can maintain a connection to their birth parents and feel more comfortable with their adoption story.
What is Semi-Open Adoption?
A semi-open adoption is one in which the birth parents and adoptive families share some level of contact, but not all information is shared between them. In addition, communication between adoptive families and birth parents is typically facilitated by a third party, usually the adoption agency. Sometimes contact is limited to emails, while other families may choose to have phone or video calls. Still, some families may prefer to exchange pictures and letters throughout the year.
Either way, a semi-open adoption is a great middle-ground that both the adoptive family and birth parents can be comfortable with, while giving the child the opportunity to receive communications and information from his or her birth family.
What Is a Closed Adoption?
A closed adoption is an adoption where the birth parents and adoptive families are not given any identifying information about each other, and the adoption process is usually handled by an adoption agency. There are various levels of openness in adoption, but in a closed adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents may not have any contact with each other. In some cases, the birth mother may choose the adoptive family for her child. After the baby is born, the adoptive family will take custody of the child and the birth parents will have no further contact with the child.
Closed adoptions are less popular than in the past, especially since research has shown the benefits of open adoptions. Even so, closed adoption is right for families who do not wish to have contact with birth parents, or for those who do not wish to talk with their child about the adoption until they are older.
Open Adoption: Pros and Cons
There are pros and cons to open adoption. Some of the pros include that the adoptive parents can get to know the birthparents, which can provide them with information about their child's medical history and family background. Additionally, open adoptions can also help the child feel more connected to his or her roots.
On the other hand, one of the cons of open adoption is that it can be emotionally difficult for both the adoptive parents and the birth parents. In some cases, it may be hard for the adoptive parents to share parental relationships with the birth parents. Additionally, open adoptions and the accompanying emotions can be complicated and challenging to navigate without professional or therapeutic assistance.
Finally, some parents fear that in an open adoption, they will have to co-parent or share parenting responsibilities with the birth parents. This is a misconception and not true. Part of the legal process of an adoption is the termination of the birth parent's rights, and this prevents the birth parents from having any say in how the child is raised.
Open or Closed Adoption? Let an Attorney Help You Make the Right Choice
If you are considering adoption, you may be wondering if you should opt for an open or closed adoption. While there are pros and cons to both, ultimately the decision comes down to what is best for you and your family.
Adoption can be a complex process, so it is important to consult with an experienced attorney who can help you understand your options and make the best decision for your situation.
